Social media is treated as a blessing to the 21^st century, for its ability to connect people, foster communities and enable dialogues and discourse. But it is also evidently becoming a space where the social media narratives ridicule, distort and trivialize the modern gender based violence. The witch-trial orchestrated against the survivors, to protect the men in power, has been regressive and stifles the voices raised. With a very strong PR team, a few trending hashtags and millions of memes, men have become experts on DARVO (an acronym for deny, attack, reverse victim and offender)¹. Although misogyny and victim blaming is a shared story in society, this trend of DARVO seemingly found its place after the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial that happened in Fairfax county, Virginia from April 11 to June 1 of 2022.²

Amber Heard was made to testify her rape testimony while millions mocked, defamed, and reversed the blame on her. Content creators found their new witch to burn, media found a new controversy to profit off, and abusers found their new way of avoiding accountability. Depp sued Heard over an op-ed she wrote for The Washington Post in 2018. In this op-ed, she described her experience surviving domestic violence without mentioning Depp by name. Of course, the nostalgia merchants were pained seeing their favorite pirate, their childhood hero being labelled as a cause of somebody’s trauma, hence forgetting that abuse is about power and control which Amber obviously lacked. Experts on domestic violence, intimate partner violence, sexual assault and women’s rights agree that Depp used DARVO to shift public perception and instead painted  Heard as a villain³. More than 100 organizations and experts signed an open letter supporting Amber Heard and called for an end to online harassment and intimidation of individuals who report sexual and domestic abuse. The signatories included numerous major gender justice organizations including  the National Women’s Law Center, Esperanza United, Futures without Violence, Feminist Majority, Sakhi for South Asian Women, Women’s March Foundation, National Organization for Women, Equality Now and other experts including author and activist Gloria Steinem.⁴ The trial being full of “memeable” content helped to control the public narrative. Nothing would work better than showing a man as humorous while he is inflicting abuse upon women. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that the trial was perhaps a major setback against whatever positivity “Me-too” movement had brought. While people sat in their homes and made parodies of her testimony, they were partaking in something heinous; punishing women for not being the “perfect victims”. People tuned in the trial for the laughs, for their entertainment. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning. This trend followed with Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively. The frizzy hair of Blake Lively was met with immediate hate, misogyny while people showered Baldoni with love and support. 

Everyday the internet and media finds a new victim of misogyny to thrash upon. While the dank humor enthusiasts enjoy the memes made, finding humor in something as serious as rape and domestic violence has done unprecedented harm for the survivors to speak out. When they do, they are met with accusations of ruining the perpetrators life. The memeification of domestic abuse and human trafficking found a very safe haven with the arrest of Sean “Diddy” Combs. The vile and grotesque allegations were soon covered with jokes of baby oil. Then, the media did what they do best, find another woman to blame, this time blaming singer Beyoncé for the wrong doings of a man. 

The media being an active enemy of the survivors is not new. When the popular cricket player Sandeep Lamichhane and actor Paul Shah were charged for rape of minors, the whole of media came together to protect their image. Thousands rallied behind Lamichhane and cursed the girl seeking justice. Few tiktok trends, some hashtags on twitter have done irreparable damage to the survivors of gender based violence. This harmful trend of mocking the survivor, actively white washes the images of the abusers to avoid any accountability. It is equally sickening how the media and we as people have been too forgiving towards the abusers. Contrary to popular belief, neither the career of the perpetrator is ruined nor do they lose their social currency. Time and again men continue to rebrand and find a way for people to sympathize with them. They continue to thrive with impunity. Until we stop empathizing, coddling and platforming such abusers, we can never be free from gender based violence.

A significant number of women have experienced domestic violence. Almost one in three women have been subjected to physical and or sexual violence by an intimate partner.⁵ The report presented by Nepal police states 2380 rape case, 655 attempt to rape, 314 children sexual abuse and 17000 cases of domestic violence and these are only the registered cases.⁶ There are equal if not more cases that will never see the light due to fear or threats and shame. When the media reduces these sensitive cases to clickbait titles and sensationalize their pain, they become an accomplice in promoting this culture. The commodification of women’s suffering for mass amusement ought to stop. We have seen it happen to Rhea Chakraborty after the death of actor Sushant Singh Rajput in 2020. The thousands of conspiracy theories and a massive hate train was orchestrated by the media itself with baseless panel discussions leading to a massive witch-hunt. 

Of course, social media has also played a powerful role in raising awareness and amplifying survivors’ voices. Be it Susmita Regmi or Sandhya Gautam, social media has made progress in terms of creating a safe space for advocating gender based violence. But for every voice amplified, there are many drowned out by misogynistic memes and digital ridicule. We must challenge this rising digital culture that discredits the survivors and favours power. We need media accountability and responsible journalism, we need public education to dismantle the idea of a perfect victim, we need additional legal protections and support systems. Most importantly, we need to de-glorify our abusers and start believing our survivors. Because, in every meme, in every headline, every sarcastic comment that questions the credibility of a survivor’s truth,  sends a message to others, “Will I be believed?”